Sparkles
by Tsubasa3
Summary: Ryuichi's interpretation of music as sparklies. He is able to see himself from the external perspective, and is amazed at what he sees.


Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation by Maki Murakami, the original storyline, characters, or anything else related to Gravitation. I am not making a profit of this in any way whatsoever and this is entirely for entertainment purposes. I use all copyrighted material without authorization. I do not own the song Sleepless Beauty, the lyrics, or Nittle Grasper, and I got the lyrics from There! I'm broke, so don't bother sueing.

Yaaahhooooooo!!! I liiiiiive! Finally, after so many long days of a mix of writer's block and that thing called...school, I am back! Hopefully for good! My inspiration is back! Arigato gozaimasu!

This is about Sakuma-san, and his interpretation of music by "sparklies". I'm not sure if they included it in the manga, so you'd have to see the anime to definitely know what I'm talking about. Told in first person.

Sparkles

Begin

When I'm not singing I'm dead. I'm numb and I don't comprehend. I don't see and I can't sense the world around me. As far as I know, people don't speak to me; I'm too dead to know anything except my own obliviousness. And...I don't feel happy when I'm not singing; I'm just dead. I have nothing when I don't sing.

So...I just smile, and I pretend with Kumagouro. Life's a carnival and nothing has consequences; we can just lie back and not have to worry about anything.

And yet, years ago, before I made it to the top, I remember crashing through the empty studio at night. Sad and mortified, I'd find a way to wake myself up. Through the tears, I'd yell. I'd break through the weak yell into a loud, passionate word and fly with the ones that followed. I broke through each new level of passion, I'd stumble through the studio, singing my lungs and vocal chords to mere shreds, noise erupting from my ribs, vibrating all the tattered remains of my throat. From there, the need to sing grew.

And then....I made it to the top.

"Introducing....NITTLE GRASPER!!!"

The crowd's response pounded my ears and I felt the same feeling of vigor take me. As I took the stage, and clutched the microphone, I felt the life welling up inside me. The music started, and a moment later, I spoke fervently into the microphone and let myself become reborn. With each syncopation of the beat, my body jerked and energy poured out of me from everywhere.

I could feel the music winding down now and even though my heart begged for more, it ceased, and I stopped singing, and the crowd erupted in an ear-splitting roar that sent my whole body into tremors. From that moment on, I knew I would live for this single sensation.

The next day magazines were being pumped out with front-page articles reading: 'Ryuichi Sakuma- Pop Music God'.

Life was a fantasy. As long as I could sing, I could be alive; I wouldn't have to lead the life of numb existence, unaware of all. I never wanted to be deprived of my passion again. I literally wanted to die onstage, singing my heart out.

And my fame continued to grow- first nationally, then throughout the continent, and then worldwide, I was known as _the _Ryuichi Sakuma-san. Even though I was brilliant, in a sense, as a vocalist, I still hungered to be better, to make it beyond the charts, to stop the pop idol world in its tracks; I wanted to dominate. But I didn't know it was so within reach.

One day, K invited me and Touma and Noriko over to the studio to watch our latest performance; in a sense, to get the view of the audience.

K fumbled with the tape and inserted it in the player.

"Hello everyone, we're here live at Zepp Tokyo to witness a performance by the hot, popular band, Nittle Grasper, led by vocalist Ryuichi Sakuma," a reporter flashed onto the screen outside Zepp Tokyo.

Thinking back, I remembered that night; the anticipation, and the performance, and the celebration afterwards.

"We're here to take you inside Zepp Tokyo for this ground-breaking performance scheduled to start in a few minutes."

The tape cut off for a moment and the next picture was inside Zepp Tokyo, as Touma, Noriko, and I all walked onto the stage. Touma and Noriko took their positions and I with my microphone, took the center. I watched my expression on the screen closely; I looked intense and concentrated, focused on my goal and my dream.

Touma took off with a loud, explosive note and the song started.

On the screen, my eyes focused and I saw a huge reaction in their depths. It almost seemed surreal, that this was me. I began to relive the stage at that moment, the passion, the power, the energy, the vigor and life. Then, I finally opened my mouth to sing, and an ethereal voice broke through the crowd's cheers.

"Touku....de me o hikarasete." (From far away, let your eyes shine.) On the screen, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back as I poured words into the microphone. "Mezameru monotachi matte iru." (Those who have awakened are still waiting.)

Touma, Noriko, and K were intently watching the screen as well, and as I focused on myself singing, I could subconsciously feel my grip loosening on Kumagouro in my lap.

"Yoru no jouheki, sasowarete utsurisumu mure no nukegara iru." (Seduce the ramparts of the night, in the cast-off pile of skins left by things that now live somewhere else.)

Touma and Noriko pounded the keyboard, and the lights flickered across my face and bled together at the floor.

And, as I watched myself singing on the screen, lost in the music, I realized something- something I could never have seen without the bird's eye view.

I was lost. I was entranced, carried away by the music and the lyrics. I don't know if they meant anything, but they just kept pouring out of my mouth into the microphone. I was dancing, jumping, flying. I was beautiful. I was sparkling. My whole aura beamed through and I swerved with the beat; my soul was perfectly synchronized with the music. I was full of sparkles.

It must have seemed very stupid; I was completely entranced by my own self flashing across a screen; I didn't want to blink, I didn't want to miss myself.

"Deguchi no nai. Shougeki ni taeru tsumori nara. Kuzureru hodo. Itsuwari o misete." (Without an exit. If you intend to survive the impact. To the point where you fall apart. Enrapture the deceits.)

Sparkling. Sparkles. Everywhere, beauty, sparkles. Sparkling is the word that can almost describe this feeling of hypnotism, of being completely lost in my own image. My own hypnotic image. Was that me? Was I capable?

We're they all watching me? I wonder now. Were Touma, Noriko, and even K all watching me as well? Or was it just me being dillusional? Was I just entranced by little dots?

"Umare kawareru anata yo, hitori hohoemanaide, hitomi o irodoru." (You who have been reborn, color your eyes, without smiling alone.)

Yes, yes; this was real. I was exploding with energy. I was like a savage beast demolishing the stage as the lyrics pounded everything. I was leading a revolution, to obstruct humanity for a few moments when the kyrics were strongest.

I could've cried, watching own image, but I was soon reminded that my song had to end sometime too.

"Sotto dakishimete, zutto tsukamaete, motto kokoro made kowasu you ni!" (Hold me gently, always catch me, more and more, in order to break my heart.)

As the beat faded I felt my chest sinking; it was almost like my soul was dying to no longer be chanting into the microphone. But I will never forget what I saw in myself on that stage; I sparkled with a sheer radiance unmatched by anything I had ever seen. It was incredible! For a few moments, my soul shimmered. I didn't know how to comprehend what I had just seen and I simply stared, gaping, at the screen.

Touma, Noriko, and K were beginning to chat in the background about the stunning performance, but I was oblivious. All I could think of, in my head, was...."This...is singing."

They all looked up, broken from their conversation, and stared at me. "Ryuichi?"

Sparkles... If life's a game, then let them all sparkle...

Owari

This is dedicated to Zack, Loren, and Brenden, my real muses.


End file.
